Scream Until You Bleed
by Branded Lunacy
Summary: Denial is strange. She never thought she'd experience it firsthand but there she was sat on the ground with the slowly sinking realization that she'd been in denial for the last year and a half. OC-insert.
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

**AN: Hey, I know it's short, but it's just the prologue so don't worry about it. And enjoy... if you want?**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the cover picture.**

 **Chapter 1: Prologue**

* * *

Denial is strange. She never thought she'd experience it firsthand but there she was sat on the ground with the slowly sinking realization that she'd been in denial for the last year and a half.

There wasn't even a trigger for this sudden realization. She just couldn't hold back the screaming truth anymore. Reincarnation... Though, the fact that she'd been reincarnated wasn't what she was in denial about. In was actually the fact that she'd been reincarnated into some pseudo world based on her favorite book. For the past year and a half she had completely disregarded her new family's names and faces. She simply decided it was coincidence only, even though she'd never been one to believe in coincidences.

And now she sat in the hallway outside of her room, staring at the moving picture on the wall she'd actively been avoiding glancing at any other time she was near it. When she'd crawled out of her room earlier and was greeted by a talking portrait, she promptly plopped back on her butt and proceeded to stare at said picture, who of which was looking increasingly more uncomfortable.

Her family's names and faces rushed through her head until her breath rushed out. Tiny pained pants filled the hallway with noise. The child's heart throbbed as if it were going to crawl out of her chest and her lungs felt small and useless. The people in the portraits were scrambling about either trying to calm her down or running off to look for her parents.

Blackness crept into her vision and she was reminded of her death. And with the reminder of that event, a wet despairing kind of giggle slid out of her, but her spit clogged in her throat and she began to cough as the sounds of footsteps came closer. She kept coughing and wheezing and just before her parents reached her, the liquid clogging her throat came loose. One last cracked wheeze before red spewed onto her tiny fingers. Gasps and curses filled her ears as the blackness engulfed her entirely.

* * *

She was in a room. It was a small room that smelled of cleaning supplies. A doll house sat in the corner set up with faceless fiends to accompany it. She didn't dare to look at it.

Voices filled her ears, but she kept her eyes shut. There was a voice she'd never heard before.

"...just a panic attack, though we're not sure what triggered it." Then she heard her mother's voice.

"Just a panic attack!? He was coughing up blood!" Oh, right. She's a boy now. She really needed to start remembering that. Her/his breath suddenly sucked back into her, before lunging out again accompanied by a few droplets of blood. Her mother rushed to her side immediately.

"See, you fool. Oh, sweetheart, look at me." The healer stuttered and checked her clipboard before calling another healer in. They poked and prodded her with their wands for a long time but they only got more frustrated as time passed. Finally the main healer turned around.

"Well Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy, there is nothing visibly wrong with your son." Her father stepped forward.

"What are you talking about? There is obviously something wrong with him."

"Yes, there is obviously something wrong with him. The problem is that whatever it is that's wrong with him is not visible to us. He seems perfectly normal, but he continues to cough up blood and we can't tell why. I would recommend rest the next time this happens and for at least one person to stay with him at all times. See if you can spot what's causing these attacks. If you do, come back and we'll come up with a plan to help him."

My parents looked ready to kill somebody, but they didn't, obviously. Narcissa, cleaned my mouth, picked me up, and followed Lucius out the door.

* * *

 **AN: So, I found this in the bowels of my phone. I'd written it a while ago and I have no idea where I was going with it. I still have no idea, but I'd like to keep writing it. So if there's anything you want in here, like a pairing or event, let me know in a review or a PM because there's a real chance it could happen. I'm very up for suggestions.**


	2. Chapter 2: A New Friend

**AN: Ooooooh… I just finished this chapter. I feel so much better! Yeah! And it's longer too~ Nearly 2,000 words! XDI fully intend for this fiction to be** _ **long.**_

 **Also, a warning… Things get a bit bloody in a "oh I could feel that" kind of way. So if you can't handle copious amounts of blood then maybe you should read something else, but I still highly recommend you give it a shot even if you're iffy about it. Though I did add horror as a genre and bump up the rating to M. So… Enjoy? If you want...**

 **Chapter 2: A New Friend**

 **Age: 6**

* * *

Draco strolled down the hallway, a tiny stuffed dragon held in her little hand. Her other hand slid along the wall and kept her from walking into anything. It was beyond midnight, she was sure, and as such, it was very dark. All of the paintings were asleep, she could hear their snores, and all of the lights were out. She wouldn't have been able to see with her eyes open so she just kept them closed.

She did this often; wandered the dark halls of Malfoy Manor alone in the dark. Most nights she just couldn't stay in her room anymore, not after the nightmares, which were another thing altogether. She dreamt not of her old world and old family, but of _this_ world and _this_ family, along with all the other problems that resided here.

The nightmares would pull her out of sleep coughing blood and barely able to breath. But even when the coughing subsided, she couldn't go back to sleep. Her legs would prickle and her head would ache. Eventually she'd get up and go running through the halls full speed until she couldn't feel her feet anymore and the cold had cleared her conscience.

The hall suddenly lit up and she covered her face with her stuffed dragon. "Draco, baby? Why are you up? And so far from your room?" Draco almost growled, but Narcissa started tugging the dragon from her face, so she pulled on her poker-face. "Were you looking for me?"

 _Hell~ no._ She shook her head.

"Then what are you doing out of bed?" Draco shrugged. "Would you like to come sleep with me and your father?"

She shook her head in a particularly violent way before turning and walking away, but Narcissa grabbed onto her forearms.

"Draco, please! _Say something._ Tell me what's wrong. I want to help."

The last time Draco spoke was during her old life, when she could still claim to be a female. She didn't _want_ to hear her new voice and not because of the sex swap. Even if she'd been reborn a girl, her voice still wouldn't have been the same and that _bothered_ her. The only reason she used the name Draco as her own now was because she couldn't remember hers and she had _no idea why._

Narcissa tried to pull her closer, Draco started trying to wiggle away at the same time. She didn't want to be close to this _woman_. She felt her chest get tighter while she puffed out her cheeks and tried not to scream, but failed. The panic was too much as she wailed like an animal. Narcissa let go immediately and Draco tumbled to the floor.

She didn't _understand_. Why was any of this even happening to her? Reincarnation wasn't supposed to even be a real _thing,_ much less _Harry Potter._ She'd put off her impending freak out for four and a half years and was paying for it now, with interest.

Draco screamed until she coughed up blood and then cried as she tried not to choke on her own sadness made tangible in the form of blood loss. Personally, she didn't think she'd last that long before her personal death count rose again.

* * *

Draco woke up the next morning in her bed, free of blood splatter. Narcissa must have brought her here. As soon as she sat up, an elf was beside her. It was Dobby, she knew only because she'd heard Lucius yell at the elf once.

"Tiny master is supposed to being in bed _all_ day!" Draco stared at the creature as if it weren't even there. The little thing began to fidget soon after and bowed back into its no doubt _designated_ corner. She could get up if she wanted. The elves weren't allowed to touch her. She'd overheard Lucius giving _that_ order too. He'd told them she didn't need any more unknown filth clogging her system. She wasn't even really sure what he meant by that, but she was pretty sure it was very racist and derogatory against the elves and she had always harbored a special brand of hatred for racists, even in her past life.

She didn't _want_ this family. She didn't _want_ to be reincarnated. She couldn't remember properly what had happened whilst she was dead, but she knew it was a lot better feeling than being alive again, here, in this _family_. She didn't _want_ to be here.

 _What I_ want _is to be dead again._

 _ **I can do that.**_ She flinched and coughed up a small dribble of blood. That was a _voice,_ and it was _loud_ , as if it had come from her own body. She glanced over at Dobby to see if he'd heard it too, but he was just sat there idly twiddling his thumbs.

 _Am I hallucinating?_ Another cough ripped through her system and she found her hands covered in little droplets of red, _as usual._

 _ **Oooh, that's a pretty colour. Let's get some**_ **more.** She suddenly lurched from the bed, though she was sure she hadn't intended to do that. A deafening laugh engulfed her as a hot kind of numb creeped through her body. The elf was about to say something, but she'd already took off for the bathroom. She couldn't feel anything but her head.

 _I'll scream for help. I'll-_ Her own hand clamped down on her mouth at the same time Dobby blocked the bathroom entrance.

"Tiny master is not behavings good. Mistress Malfoy said youse was to being sleeping now."

 _ **Shut your mouth, you illiterate**_ **thing.** Draco's foot suddenly struck out and kicked the elf right into the wall. The kick was stronger than she should've been capable of at the age of six. He laid there in a daze as she entered the bathroom and locked it behind her.

She spun around and crawled up onto the sink. She still couldn't feel anything besides her head and she was sure by now that it was that _voice_ that was controlling her body. Facing the mirror, she could tell she was paler than she ought to be and her arms were trembling, though she _still_ couldn't feel it.

 _ **Ready, kid?**_

 _For what?_

 _ **You already know. You're the one who asked for this.**_ Skin broke and bled red as her trembling fist embedded itself into the middle of the mirror. The glass shattered around her as bits fell into the sink, nicking her legs on the way down. She held up one of the bigger, sharper pieces in her left hand. Oh yes, she knew what the voice was going to do to her now and she couldn't have been happier.

A knocking sounded on the door then. "Tiny Master!"

"Go away! That's an order!" She slurred her words a bit from a lack of practice, but she was sure it was clear enough to understand. Now, the elf would be too busy thinking over chain of command and Draco finally saying her first words to really focus on doing anything else.

She _wanted_ the voice to succeed. That is, if she was right in what she thought it was trying to do. A wicked grin,sure to make a man pee himself, stretched across her face as she was proven right. The shard slid up her wrist and then the other. She almost wished she could feel it. The blood drained fast and she fell back onto the floor just as Dobby apparated into the room.

* * *

 _ **Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…**_ was the first thing she heard when consciousness greeted her. The second thing she heard was Narcissa and Lucius arguing. She opened her eyes to watch them. They were at the foot of her bed.

"-his wrists. It wasn't an accident."

"He's six, Lucius! _Six!_ Six year olds don't even know what suicide _is!_ '

"Ours does! And definitely attempted it."

"No he didn't!"

"Yes I did..." She was quiet, but they heard her anyway. Both their heads snapped to her so fast she thought she heard a crack somewhere. Then they were on either side of her and staring _very_ intently. Lucius grabbed her attention first.

"What did you just say?"

A huge sigh showed her irritation. "I _did_ attempt suicide." That was sort of a lie because she hadn't been in control of her body, but she definitely hadn't minded the attempted murder/suicide and she didn't feel like trying to explain something she didn't understand yet.

 _ **Good decision.**_ Narcissa looked teary and frayed when Draco looked over at her.

"Oh sweetie, w-why would you want t-to do that?"

"What do you mean? I've always wanted to die."

" _Why?" She shot Narcissa a nasty look._

"' _Why?'_ Why should I tell _you_ that?"

"Wha- b-b-because I do-don't… I don't want you to die, to be hurt like that. I care about you."

Draco fliched away and looked at the ceiling, then back at Narcissa. She wasn't sure what was going on. "You… care about me?

A warbled giggle crawled out of Narcissa's mouth. "Wha- yes, of course. How could I not? You're my _son_."

And Draco suddenly wanted to punch herself in the face. Ever since she'd realized what world she'd been reincarnated into, she'd been brewing in an angry depression. Narcissa and Lucius had ceased being her parents in her mind. They'd become something dark and twisted. But now, she was thinking that they hadn't been what changed, that maybe it was her perspective that had changed. And if that's the case, then, she's still their son to them. They still cared about her even though she'd been hardcore hating them for four and a half years, now. That also meant that they were still her parents...

Draco turned to her mother with a sad smile. "I care about you too, mum. I promise I won't do it again."

Both of her parents let out way more air than should've been healthy before her face was showered with kisses and a strong hand gently squeezed her shoulder. She blushed all across her cheeks and thought that she wanted to get used to having a family again, even if they did turn out to be evil, though whatever kept grumbling about failures in the back of her mind did worry her a bit.

* * *

 **AN: So I've a question. Would you prefer it if Draco mentally referred to herself as a girl or boy when she's older? I know some people care about that so I figured I'd ask. Right now, she's still mentally a girl despite her body, but I'm not sure which way I wanna go with it. Oh, and I haven't decided on any kind of pairing, if there will even** _ **be**_ **one, so don't use that for judgment. Or do, it doesn't really matter.**

 **Now, I would like to point out that FIVE people are interested in my story. That's five more than I expected. So, they should know that I'll love them forever even if they quit reading. ;p**

 **PS: I intend on shattering canon as soon as I can, in case more than one person was wondering.**


	3. Chapter 3: Scars

**AN: I had decided on uploading this wednesday, but I just can't wait. How pathetic am** _ **I,**_ **fangirling over my own story?**

 **Chapter 3: Scars**

 **Age: 6**

The Malfoy family sat at their dining table. It was late and everyone was hungry. They'd been at Mungo's for the last few hours. The healers fixed Draco up easily, but no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't stop it from scarring. Narcissa was the most angry about it.

Draco though, wasn't quite sure how to feel about _anything_. The voice in her head burst into manic giggles every time someone tried healing up the scars. Her arms ached a bit still, but beyond that she was fine… physically speaking, at least.

She hadn't been the sanest person in her last life, so she _knew_ what crazy felt like. This time around though, she hadn't exactly been trying to stay alive, _obviously_ , so she hadn't worried about her mental state, but things were different now. She'd promised her mother she wouldn't die, and she'd _meant_ that.

So, she figured the best way for a person to not kill themselves would be to regain some semblance of sanity. But it's a bit difficult to say you're a hundred percent okay when you've got a voice laughing like a lunatic in your skull. She knew she ought to say something about it, but she got so lightheaded every time she tried. It didn't scare her, but she was definitely worried.

 _ **The woman is talking to you.**_ Draco raised her head. Narcissa was watching her quietly. Lucius looked up at her then, too.

"What?" Her parents looked at eachother before focusing back on her with about ten times the amount of force behind their stares. Narcissa was the first one to speak.

"Are you alright, Draco?"

 _Yes, I was just thinking. Smart people do that sometimes._ Draco said nothing and the silence stretched thin until Narcissa spoke again.

"Draco, baby, your godfather is coming over for a visit, tomorrow. He's going to see if he can get rid of those awful scars. Isn't that great?" She smiled and Draco had to look away.

"Mm… okay." She'd forgotten about Severus Snape being Draco Malfoy's godfather. He'd been one of her favorite characters before. And now… now, he was _her_ godfather. She hid a sneaky grin behind some chicken. They finished their dinner in silence. Narcissa had offered to let Draco sleep with them in their bed, but she said no. It was near impossible for her to fall asleep with other people that close.

When she entered her bedroom, there were two elves waiting for her; Dobby and someone she didn't know the name of. She looked over Dobby and saw that his ear was bent weird and the whole right side of his face was bruised purple. His legs were littered with fresh cuts she _knew_ were self inflicted. As soon as she was done taking this all in, she dropped to her knees and pulled him into a hug. Both elves squeaked violently as Dobby held his hands as far away from her as possible.

"Elvesies not suppose to touch Tiny Master! Tiny Master will being sick!" She just held on tighter.

"I'm not sick because of the elves."Dobby continued to lean as far away as he could, while the other elf paced and pulled at it's ears. "I'm sorry for hurting you, Dobby. I wasn't in control of my body." There was a moment of still silence before both elves burst into loud protests. When she finally let go of Dobby, he was crying.

"Tiny Ma-Master too go~od!" The both of them continued saying things to that effect, while Dobby snorted into his pillow case every once in awhile. The whole thing was slightly embarrassing and very heartwarming, but she was tired so they let her go to bed.

~LINE BREAK~

Draco woke to the sight of two big green eyes staring down at her. It took her sleep befuddled mind a few seconds to realize that the eyes belonged to Dobby.

"Tiny Master is awake! Dobby is so pleased!" He hopped off the bed and bowed with a smile. "Master, Mistress, and guest is waiting for youses at breakfast." He hopped a little and gestured to the door.

"Thanks." Her clothes were already laid out at the foot of her bed so it was no time at all before she was out the door and running through the halls.

 _ **Someone's excited.**_ She tripped and almost fell, but kept running.

 _Forgot you were there. And_ of course _I'm excited. Snape's a badass. Also, you and I are gonna have a talk later._

 _ **Oooh, what about?**_

 _What do you_ think _?_ Choked giggling filled her skull as she entered the dining room.

"Morning, Mum!" Introductions were passed around and Draco found that Snape's stare burned even more than her father's. They didn't talk to her during breakfast, though. They were too busy talking about Ministry stuff and she was starting to get bored. So she started her own conversation.

 _Hey._

 _ **Hello, darling.**_

 _Don't call me that. My name is Draco. What's yours?_

 _ **I don't have a name, dumbass. I was born yesterday.**_

 _Born?_

 _ **Yeah, from you. It's been a full twenty four hours, mummy,and you haven't named me yet. I'm a little hurt. HA!**_

 _Well, that's not my fault. I didn't know to name you._ And she wasn't sure she wanted to either. She'd once heard that to bring a thing to life, you first had to name it.

 _ **Well, you should.**_

 _What happens when I do?_

 _ **Does that mean you'll do it?!**_ Draco cringed. It sounded nearly happy, but in a tainted way, sort of desperate, like it'd die if she said no. She wondered if that was the case.

 _What are you?_

 _ **I don't know.**_

 _What?_

 _ **What makes you think I would know?**_

 _Why wouldn't you know where you come from?_

 _ **I come from you. What else is there?**_

 _You sound obsessed._

 _ **I am.**_

 _Then why kill me?_

 _ **It was what you wanted.**_ A violent shiver racked her body and she coughed blood into her napkin. Lots of water was passed to her, but she was only half focused on anything.

Dinner finished soon after that. Snape asked to be alone with her and her parents acquiesced. They sat on a couch together, Snape examining her wrists. Another bought of manic giggling echoed in her mind.

 _What's so funny?_

 _ **What? You haven't noticed?**_

 _Noticed what?_

 _ **I'm keeping it for you.**_

 _Keeping… what, my scars? Why?_

 _ **Because that's what you want. I know better than you do, after all, you cute stupid thing of a child~**_

 _Why do I want them?_

 _ **You still want to die. Promises to Grammy Narcissist don't change shit.**_ Draco pulled her arms away from Snape. She stared at her knees and he stared at her head.

"I'm going to go speak to your parents. Wait here." Then, he left.

 **AN: Woah! I. AM. TIRED! I know these chapters don't seem all that long, but they're like Everest for me! I have to spend so much time staring at it, I swear it feels like I've already written a novel.**

 **So, I think I've figured out how I'm gonna handle the gender thing. Thanks for reviewing btw, that definitely helped! Now, a new dilemma has risen from the ashes! Her sexuality! Let me know what you'd like to see!**

 **Thanks for Reading!**

 **Edit: I changed the ending a little bit, that's all.**


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